i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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