So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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