he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
