chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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