super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
