Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Bring me that man meat
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
