one might say we're banned from that church
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
