Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I could fuck to npr.
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