The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
