that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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