Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
