Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
