So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
