bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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