Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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