i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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