batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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