If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
