I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize