i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
