My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
