Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
