I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
