Umm I'm too high to move.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
3pm strippers are depressing
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize