when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
