You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
