Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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