I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
