Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
