Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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