We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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