he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
