he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
