EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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