he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
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well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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