If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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