4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
