whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
