they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize