sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
