When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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