think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
