life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
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He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
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I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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