dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
