Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
