"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
