Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
