My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
