Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
