Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize