I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
