Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
