This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
