You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
