She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
