.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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