You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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