What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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