Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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