I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
tell me about the fingering
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
