If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
