So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
