nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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