HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
