He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
