Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
