Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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