omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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